Whether you chose to divorce or your spouse surprised you with a callous “I’m leaving,” you’ll probably be forced to deal with the emotional fallout. Emotional pain is as serious—and often as crippling—as acute physical pain. While it’s tough to focus on the bright side, it’s there; in the meantime, you might be able to lighten your load and help the feelings subside naturally.
What Your Chapel Hill Divorce Lawyer Might Recommend
If you’re having a particularly rough divorce, your Chapel Hill divorce lawyer might recommend that you talk to a counselor or therapist with plenty of experience. Even if your attorney doesn’t suggest it, it can’t hurt. Ask your lawyer, family or friends for a referral to a qualified pro who can help you talk through this tough time.
Self-Help Tips for Dealing with Emotional Pain
If you’re not sure about reaching out to a counselor or therapist, try these coping techniques. You can always ask your Chapel Hill divorce lawyer for a referral if your pain proves too severe for home remedies.
Let go. Realize and accept the fact that you don’t have control over the situation. You don’t have to battle your emotions; you’re having them for very valid reasons. In fact, fighting them back can cause you even more emotional trauma. You need to experience these feelings in order to move through your grief.
Express yourself. Whether you choose to write your feelings down in a divorce journal, brush them on a fresh canvas or take them out on a punching bag at the gym, expressing the way you feel can help your brain organize what you’re going through. Once you’ve permitted yourself to express your feelings, it’s easier to pick up the pieces and move on.
Relax. If you’re up for it, try some popular meditation techniques, such as deep breathing or focusing your eyes on an inanimate object. If you’re not, plop down on the couch with a funny movie or your favorite book. Try to think positive thoughts that keep you calm so you don’t slip back into an extremely emotional spot; you can go back to those later, after you’ve given your mind a much-needed (and much-deserved) break.
Reframe your emotions. This one is tough, but once you get the hang of it, it gets easier. When you’re experiencing a particular emotion, such as worry about your child custody agreement or painful memories of domestic violence, reframe it so it’s more positive on your end. You might try to reframe your bad experience by considering it a learning experience or thinking about the positive benefits it will eventually yield.
Change the scenery. When you’re experiencing emotions that are too much to bear, get up and leave. Go somewhere else—even if it’s just to another room in your house. Sometimes switching locations helps you process your emotions and move on. (Never drive when you’re emotionally distraught, though. You could endanger yourself and others.)
Keeping Your Chapel Hill Divorce Lawyer in the Loop
Whether you’re seeing a therapist or handling your emotional pain on your own, let your Chapel Hill divorce lawyer know if any new issues arise in your case. That way, he or she can work to protect you under the law and save you from future problems that cause even more trauma.
