Divorce is hard on kids, and many of them don’t know how to process their emotions. Some struggle with misplaced guilt, righteous anger and pain, as well as a wide range of other emotions, until they reach a boiling point.
Teens are especially prone to acting out and behaving badly during divorce because the emotional aspects can be so overwhelming. Having a child custody agreement that kids aren’t happy with or being exposed to domestic violence can make matters worse for your teen.
Whether you’ve just started talking to a Chapel Hill divorce lawyer or you’re already navigating the waters of parenting solo, your kids might be doing all the wrong things. However, there are ways to help keep them on the straight-and-narrow.
Common Behaviors for Kids During Divorce
We already know why kids act out during divorce, but you might be surprised to know that it’s not at all uncommon. Some behaviors kids exhibit are unpleasant but won’t lead to permanent harm, like frequent door-slamming and shirking chores. Sometimes it’s more serious, though, such as when kids get into fights at school, experiment with drugs or run away from home.
Stopping Problems Before They Start
Most psychologists agree that encouraging open dialogue—about your divorce, about your teens’ everyday lives and everything else—is the best way to prevent bad behavior from starting. It’s tough to carve time out of your busy schedule to spend one-on-one with your kids, but generally, it’s worth it. Maintaining an open, trusting relationship with them can give them the strength they need to cope with their new situations.
Sometimes things spiral out of control quickly, though. If your teen is behaving badly, it’s not too late. There’s always a way to improve his or her behavior by addressing underlying causes. Talk to your ex and see if you can formulate an effective plan together before you try to tackle the problem on your own; in many cases, your kids need both of you on the same page.
What Your Chapel Hill Divorce Lawyer Might Advise
Your Chapel Hill divorce lawyer might recommend that you and your teen talk to a counselor, even if you’re not concerned that he or she will start heading down the wrong path. Since the emotions involved in divorce are often very intense, and since your teen likely hasn’t experienced anything like them before, talking to a third party who’s trained in matters like these can lift a huge weight off your whole family’s shoulders.
If you decide to take your teen to a counselor, be prepared for a little backlash. Most teens feel more capable of processing emotions than they actually are, and opening up to a stranger isn’t always on the top of their “To-Do” lists. Ask your Chapel Hill divorce lawyer for a referral to someone with an excellent reputation for dealing with teens; that way, you can smooth out any bumps in the road and make things easier on your child.
