When Stepparents Butt In

Divorcing with kids is never easy, and many parents report that things don’t always get easier once a Chapel Hill divorce lawyer has handed them a divorce decree. Sometimes new issues arise that make single parenting more difficult—like when new step parents butt in, or are perceived to have done so. Some biological parents are incredibly grateful for ex-spouse’s new partner’s involvement, and vice-versa. Most stepparents share a common goal: to be a great guardian to your kids without stepping on your toes.

Unfortunately, not all stepparents are created equal. Some go out of their way to be spiteful toward bio-parents for several reasons, including issues that stem from their resentment of their partner’s previous marriage. If your kids have a spiteful stepparent, you may have grounds to change your child custody agreement; however, only your divorce attorney can provide you with legal advice based on your unique situation.

It’s generally a good idea to approach stepparents with dignity and respect, even if you think they’re behaving out of spite. The old saying about catching more flies with honey than with vinegar is true, and you might be surprised to learn that your kids’ new stepparent is confused about how they should act and is as concerned as you are.

The Forceful Stepparent

Despite your best efforts, you might be dealing with a forceful, bossy stepparent who thinks they’re better qualified for your role than you are. First, you need to know that they aren’t. Second, you’ll need to broach this subject with your ex. If they won’t hear you out, talk to your lawyer about what your other options.

Try to find out whether they’re acting like a dictator or they’re trying to enforce rules your ex-spouse has laid out. Some people are bossy by nature, and respectfully asking them to lighten up around your kids might be better-received than you think.

When to Call Your Chapel Hill Divorce Lawyer

If your kids come home from their other parent’s house and tell you that their stepparent has verbally or physically abused them, or has made threats toward them, call your lawyer immediately.

Likewise, if they report that they’ve made unfavorable comments about you, called you names, or made them uncomfortable outside the normal scope of parenting (sending them to their rooms after  breaking a rule doesn’t count; that’s something you can take up with your ex), tell your lawyer. Your Chapel Hill divorce lawyer may be able to help you revisit your custody agreement or take legal action against your ex and their new significant other.

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