Every year, after the holidays, we receive a lot of inquiries from clients who are ready to start the new year with the resolution of getting out of their marriage. The reasons for the divorces vary: infidelity, finances, growing apart, falling out of love, constant bickering, and many others. Sometimes relationships simply don’t work out, sometimes they grow more toxic over time. Whatever the reason for divorce and no matter the year or month of the divorce, here are our top suggestions and resources for assisting you through your separation and divorce.
Top 5 New Year Divorce Resources
Your own financial information
One of the most stressful parts of a divorce is getting finances straightened out. While it’s difficult enough to get your spouse to do their part, many divorcees don’t realize how much work is actually involved with ironing out your own finances. The end of the year and the beginning of the next one is already financially focused with taxes on the horizon. W-2 statements are provided to you and your working spouse every January. This is necessary for documenting wages, salaries, and bonuses in your tax return but will also be necessary for your divorce. End of year banking statements will also be needed for your property settlement, as well as a review of mortgage statements and interest payments.
As you are gathering information for your tax returns, utilize the financial data gathered to help you create an accurate financial report from your marriage. Be sure to also seek advice from your tax advisor or CPA regarding suggestions for individual wealth, asset protection and tax issues related to divorce. If you need a resource for storing all of your pertinent financial information for your divorce, you can try our Divorce Divider platform.
Support groups, both local and virtual
January often sees new support groups popping up as people begin to focus on self improvement, which can also be quite helpful for those going through divorce. Beyond general therapy, look into divorce support groups, seek help from your workplace’s employee assistance program, and talk to your friends. There are online options for support groups and mental health appointments. Don’t try and go it alone; separation and divorce issues are tough to handle and you aren’t the only one going through them. Take advantage of the help that is available. Be aware that your children might need to speak to a mental health professional as well. Discuss their needs with their school counselors and teachers. Obtain referrals from your support groups for specialists or even just for social activities that you can do with your children or on your own.
Free, publicly available information on divorce
Divorce is a complex issue that many don’t consider the intricacies of until they are in the middle of it. Don’t let people and firms prey on your fears in exchange for information that is publicly available. Many divorce lawyers have information on their websites. Our own website offers a robust knowledge base on the issues many divorcing couples face in the state of North Carolina. On that note, be careful with what information you are reading. Divorce laws vary from state to state and something that may be true in one state may not necessarily be in another. Read the laws and terms associated with divorce for your state. Take advantage of using child support calculators (here is our free one if you live in North Carolina) to determine what child support obligations will be. Review sample separation agreements to have an idea of what settlement terms include (we have one of those too for NC residents). Look over sample custody and visitation schedules concerning vacations, school holidays, travel, and extra curriculars.
Co-parenting Apps
There are co-parenting apps that can help you and your spouse manage your children’s school dates, activities, practices, vacations, etc. These tech tools often have a communication feature wherein you can use the app for texting and emailing, and some also have an expense feature where payments can be requested and tracked. Grandparents, other family members, and family law professionals can be included in the group app to help facilitate clear and open communication. If you are unsure of where to find one, you can try out our free custody calendar.
A reliable family law attorney
When the time comes for preparing a separation agreement, signing a co-parenting agreement, or dividing assets, the first thing you should do is consult with an experienced family law attorney. Work with an attorney who is skilled in divorce issues specifically – many attorneys state that they handle family law but view it more as an add-on that they can do instead of something that they are passionate about and highly experienced with. Also be sure to find someone who is realistic with you about your options. Remember that the majority of all cases settle outside of court; it is costly in legal fees, time, and emotions to go to court. While there are certainly times when litigation is the only option, if your consulting attorney seems dead set on taking your case to court despite your desire to resolve your issues amicably, get a second opinion. Be sure to ask your attorney about fees, settlement options, litigation, and mediation. Settling your case will often allow you more input on how your issues will be resolved.
Also, keep in mind that while retaining an attorney is a generally good idea to make sure your divorce goes as planned, it is not a requirement. A consultation at the very least is always a good idea, but as long as you fill out all of the required paperwork, you can obtain a divorce without an attorney. We still advise it, as there are many things that can go wrong throughout the process, but do not feel pressured by an attorney to retain them if you cannot afford their services. Sometimes it may save more money in the long run to retain an attorney for their expertise, especially when it comes to things like property, alimony, and child support, but that is ultimately your decision to make.
Often we hear and we read that knowledge is power. Educate yourself before you start down the path of divorce. Your preparation will reward you greatly in the end. If you are interested in learning about more resources or consulting with one of our attorneys about your case, contact us at 919-787-6668 to see how we can assist you.
