When you and your ex split, it’s natural to assume that he or she will still want to parent your children—most people settle on a custody agreement and work out how much child support will change hands under North Carolina law.
Even when that’s difficult and they’re referred to a mediator by a Durham divorce lawyer, most people put their kids first and look forward to being with them.
But what happens when that’s not the case?
My Ex Doesn’t Want to Be a Parent Anymore
Moving far away and not being able to see children is one thing. Not wanting to see them is another. If your spouse indicates that he or she no longer wants to parent, have a heart-to-heart; you might be misunderstanding each other. You may be able to work out an arrangement that still involves both of you.
Make sure you let your lawyer know what your ex says. Naturally, parents have the right to decide on their own custody arrangements—and yours may involve the kids spending more time with you and little or none with your ex.
Protecting Your Children from Your Ex
When one parent walks away from mother-child or father-child relationships, it’s bound to hurt the children. Your attorney may be able to recommend a local psychologist who specializes in working with adolescents; in most cases, it’s best for your kids to talk to someone who isn’t directly involved but who cares about their well-being.
What You Can Do
While you cannot force your ex to parent, you can be the best mom or dad your children could ever dream of having. That includes allowing yourself to step back when you get stressed (there’s nothing wrong with taking a break now and then!) and taking good care of yourself.
What your kids need most is your love, and you already know that you’re good at giving that.
