Divorce is an adult problem, but too often, kids get sucked into the vortex and often suffer because of it. Involving the kids in your Durham divorce is inevitable to some degree, because they have to adjust to new living arrangements and a smaller family unit. However, kids’ involvement should be kept to a minimum to make sure they come out of it as unscathed as possible.
What Your Durham Divorce Lawyer May Advise
Your Durham divorce lawyer may advise you to take your kids to a local counselor or therapist who can help them adjust to their new circumstances and deal with their emotions. Your attorney might suggest that you talk to a professional, too, so that you can be a rock for your kids during this difficult time instead of inadvertently causing psychological damage.
Kids Who Know too Much
When one or both parents includes the kids in divorce proceedings by sharing too much information, asking the kids to decide between parents or discussing the other parent’s shortcomings, it’s a recipe for disaster. Kids get caught up in an inner battle, wanting to be loyal to both parents at the same time.
How Involved Should Kids Be?
Tell your Durham divorce lawyer right away if you suspect your ex (or your ex’s significant other) is involving your kids in your divorce proceedings. Again, their involvement should be kept to a minimum; they don’t need to know—nor are they mature enough to handle—the sordid details.
According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, kids should never be pitted against one parent by the other parent or the other parent’s significant other. They shouldn’t make decisions about when or where to visit if the court has handed down a recommendation that says otherwise, either.
You should, however, tell your kids that the divorce is not their fault and admit that it’s upsetting for everyone involved. Continuously reassure them that both you and your ex still love them, and that will never change.
What Your Durham Divorce Lawyer Can Do
If your spouse is unnecessarily involving your kids in your divorce, your Durham divorce lawyer can petition the court to get a judge to order the behavior to stop. Make sure to present your attorney with all the facts so you can save your kids from the emotional trauma over-involvement causes.
