It’s not uncommon to fight with your soon-to-be ex during divorce; in fact, your Durham divorce lawyer has probably seen his or her fair share of combative couples. While it might feel good at the time, fighting can turn a bad situation into a horrible situation. If you and your spouse can’t agree on anything, from who gets the kids on which holidays to who keeps the brown dish towels that never left the linen closet, you might benefit from using a mediator.
Calling in the Professionals
You don’t have to be locked in a never-ending battle with your ex to benefit from mediation (although a mediator can help you untangle the knots in your communication if you are). Many divorcing couples work with a mediator to ensure their divorce is as fair as possible—even if they only disagree on a few points.
If you’re not sure whether mediation is right for you, ask your Durham divorce lawyer for guidance; he or she will give you the legal advice you need to make the best decision.
What a Mediator Is (and is Not)
Even though mediation is the most common technique used to resolve divorce disputes, many people don’t understand where the attorney’s job ends and the mediator’s begins. It’s important to remember that your mediator cannot give you legal advice; only your Durham divorce lawyer can do that.
Mediators aren’t biased. They aren’t therapists, either; rather, mediators are only interested in cutting through your arguments to find a solution that works for both you and your ex.
How Your Durham Divorce Lawyer Differs from a Mediator
Your Durham divorce lawyer’s main goal is to protect you within the legal system; your mediator’s main goal is to get you and your soon-to-be ex to agree on property division, child custody and other divorce-related issues. Your lawyer will be able to provide you with legal advice throughout the entire process.
Is Mediation Right for Us?
If your attorney suggests mediation, it’s probably a good idea to explore that option. You can also suggest it to your spouse and your attorney on your own. Based on the climate of your case and your willingness to work together to achieve a common goal, you might benefit from using a mediator. Ultimately, the decision is up to you and your spouse. Let your Durham divorce lawyer know right away if you’d like to use mediation so he or she knows what to expect next.
