Whether or not you got along with your mother-in-law during your marriage, the dynamics of that relationship are bound to change during and after divorce. If you share kids with your ex, there’s a good chance that you’ll have at least occasional contact with your ex-mother-in-law, at least until your kids are grown. So how do you deal with her if she’s more like Norma Bates than Marion Cunningham?
Keeping the Peace: Your Durham Divorce Lawyer’s Advice
Like with most aspects of your split, your Durham divorce lawyer will probably advise you to keep the peace with your ex-mother-in-law. While it may not have any impact on your case, a gesture of goodwill such as being nice to your ex’s mom can trickle down to your ex; there’s no such thing as too much goodwill between you and your ex during or after a divorce.
Visits to Grandma’s House
Your kids will probably enjoy the same regular visits to your ex-mother-in-law’s house as they always have. Depending on your custody agreement, some of those visits might take place on your watch. When you’re the one dropping off and picking up the kids, try your best to keep things civil. If she starts harping on you, smile and say, “I understand that you’d like to talk about a few things. Maybe we can continue this over the phone, when the kids aren’t around.”
It’s Your Ex’s Problem
Generally, you can keep contact between you and your ex’s mom to a minimum by making sure kids’ visits are scheduled on his or her watch. If your ex-mother-in-law calls you, you don’t have to answer if you’re not up for it. Remember: there’s no need to fight with her, even if she’s completely wrong. You have nothing to gain or lose, since she’s your ex’s mom, and your own sanity is more valuable than making sure she knows you’re right.
