When you’re sharing living space with your ex during divorce, it can be tough to establish (and stick to) personal boundaries. Sometimes you can’t afford to move out, or your Raleigh divorce lawyer may have advised you not to get your own place yet. But what happens when your ex makes it almost unbearable to live under the same roof – like when they have a new partner and you’re not yet divorced?
Talk to Your Lawyer
Chances are pretty good that your lawyer has already told you not to date while you’re still married. Looks like your soon-to-be ex missed the memo. Make sure you let your lawyer know that your ex has a new partner. While it may or may not have any bearing on your case, it’s a good idea to tell your attorney everything. Dating often comes up during custody disputes, and lawyers don’t like surprises – so tell yours as soon as you find out.
Talk to Your Ex
Ask your ex to respect your feelings. Whether or not they do is a different story, but they do need to respect your boundaries. If you don’t want the new partner in the house, particularly when you or your kids are there, that’s probably a legitimate request (double-check with your lawyer first).
Setting Boundaries Right Away
It’s often helpful to set boundaries right off the bat if you know you’ll be living together during your separation period. If you and your soon-to-be ex can agree on ground rules, it’s easier on both of you. While you’re determining how you’ll divide the bills, the household chores, and who gets to use the TV in the living room at which times, try to establish the rules about bringing outside parties around the house and address anything else that may make you uncomfortable.
If it’s too late and your ex has a new partner already (and are bringing them home), your lawyer can give you specific guidance that’s relevant to your case.
