Any Raleigh divorce lawyer can tell you that you’ll need to rely on a strong support network during your divorce; in fact, people who have support are often happier and healthier. However, there’s a fine line between relying on your friends and family and forcing them to experience your divorce with you.
When Friends Hit the Road
Many people report losing friends during their divorces. Whether they were friends you and your ex shared, fair-weather friends or they’re afraid that divorce is contagious, it hurts just the same. When it comes to true friends, they’ll stick around—but you can help ensure you’re not pushing them away by dragging unwilling participants through your divorce.
Venting, Validation and “Friend Burnout”
It’s almost always helpful to vent about important aspects of your case, such as child support, custody and alimony, but not everyone will be open to listening. While you do deserve attention and validation during your divorce, your friends and family have their own lives, their own problems and their own successes.
Remember to ask your friends how they’re doing, too; not every conversation has to be about your divorce. No friendship can survive when it’s completely one-sided, and you can often ward off “friend burnout” by being considerate despite your pain.
My Friends Deserted Me during Divorce—Why?
If your friends do bail out, don’t take it personally. Sometimes it’s unavoidable. Your friends may feel like you’re not the same person you were, that you’re consumed by your divorce or that they just don’t want to get involved in something so emotionally intense.
Most friends you shared with your ex will choose a side, even if they don’t mean to. It might not be yours, and you might come up one or two friends short when it comes to the final tally. Unfortunately, some people view a newly-divorced person as a threat to their own marriages (although generally, that couldn’t be farther from the truth).
Using Your Friends as Supporters
By all means, rely on your friends when you need to. You might also consider asking your Raleigh divorce lawyer for a referral to a local counselor or therapist who can serve as your sounding board. That way, you can let go of some of your anger, hurt and frustration and be free to enjoy time with your friends instead of letting your divorce take over those relationships.
