“Am I abandoning him when he needs me most?”
“Will she really hit ‘rock bottom’ if I leave, and can she bounce back?”
These are common questions people ask when they’re married to alcoholics, and psychologists say they’re completely normal to have. However, most psychologists also agree that there’s a point where you have to stop sacrificing your own happiness for someone else’s and that you need to move on—and people who recognize that point often end up talking to a Raleigh divorce lawyer to find out what to do next.
Getting the Courage to Leave an Alcoholic
Loving and leaving an alcoholic is an incredibly hard decision. You might feel like it’s all your fault (both the alcoholism and the subsequent “mess” that will follow when he or she loses you), or you might think you could’ve controlled the situation if only you’d tried harder.
You’d be wrong on both counts.
When someone’s addicted to alcohol, they have a tendency to make bad choices (such as continuing to drink despite the damage it causes). In some cases, that’s actually attributable to a change in their brain’s chemistry. That means your spouse’s alcoholism is out of your hands; it always was.
What Spouses of Alcoholics Worry About
Like many spouses of alcoholics, you might be worried that your children will be negatively affected by a divorce, especially if you don’t end up sharing custody until your ex handles his or her addiction. You could be concerned about leaving your marital home, who’s entitled to the property you’ve accrued over years of marriage or even whether you’ll be a victim of domestic violence.
Your Raleigh divorce lawyer can help guide you through this tough time and provide you with legal advice that’s tailored to match your unique situation; no two divorces are exactly alike.
Your attorney can make sure you understand the laws that protect you and your children and help point you toward the resources you need, as well. If you and your kids could benefit from counseling, your Raleigh divorce lawyer may be able to refer you to a local professional who understands addiction and alcoholism (and its effects on families) who can help all of you stay on track.
