Divorce is a time of emotional upheaval—especially for families with children. Since kids don’t have the emotional maturity that we adults have earned, they often have a tough time processing adult situations. It’s not uncommon for kids to feel like they had a hand in their parents’ divorce, or that if they’d only done something differently, mom and dad would still be together. Your Raleigh divorce lawyer might suggest finding a therapist or counselor who can help your kids work through their emotions.
What Kind of Counselor Should We Choose?
If you’re thinking about taking your kids to talk to a professional, ask your Raleigh divorce lawyer for a referral first. He or she can probably give you the inside scoop on local counselors based on what past clients have said.
You’ll need a counselor who has extensive experience dealing with children of divorce, who knows how custody agreements work in North Carolina and who can work with the whole family—even very young children.
Talking Things Out
Your counselor might suggest that you come in for a handful of sessions without your kids in order to get a full grasp of the situation. Once your kids start coming, he or she will understand the whole family’s circumstances, which will allow for more targeted help. If your ex is amenable, your counselor might even suggest that you all come in together. However, it will be up to you whether you choose to include your ex.
Once your kids begin to feel comfortable with the counselor, you may hear things you don’t want to hear. Since the counselor’s job is to deal with tough emotions, your kids opening up is part of the process—and you may feel a little uncomfortable if they’re angry with you, or if they’re feeling a bit resentful over the whole divorce. This is normal and healthy, and by expressing it in counseling sessions, they’ll be better equipped to process their feelings and move past them. It’s easier said than done, but try not to take things too personally at this point.
When to Call Your Raleigh Divorce Lawyer
If allegations of abuse, neglect or other dangerous situations come up during counseling, call your Raleigh divorce lawyer right away. Your lawyer might be able to modify your custody agreement and work on your children’s behalf to keep them safe.
